Pole pas de deux

Pole pas de deux

Saturday, October 15, 2011

YouTube Parrots and Male Derrière

A guy in my ballet class was really excited today. He just got his tickets to see the San Francisco Ballet perform Divertimento No. 15, Scotch Symphony, and The Four Temperaments. Three Balanchine ballets in a weekend away from snowy Denver with his wife. He couldn't remember which Balanchine pieces were in the program and I found them by looking at the SF Ballet web page.

Now most of us know how you can start surfing the Net and end up far away from your original destination with two hours of your life sucked away forever. My hop and skip ended up on YouTube watching Svetlana Zakharova and Roberto Bolle dance Swan Lake. I've been fascinated lately with the idea of dancing with women who have ballet backgrounds, AND love to pole dance. I can see the Tchaikovsky pas de deux in my head. Ballet between the poles, with fish and arabesque lifts, two pole solos and a finish together.

While I was watching the video and wondering why Balanchine was so hung up on Stravinsky's music, I happened to look down and saw the following comment posted on the clip, "I'm sorry but that dude's crotch is bothering me..." Stuff like this makes me nuts. Like the guy who slashes me five or six times in a hockey game right after he knows the referee is looking the other way.

Dear Homophobe,
You are supposed to be noticing Svetlana's eyes and those beautiful Vagonova arms as she seduces   the Prince. How can you miss her legs, not to mention her strength? Two great dancers before you and all you notice is how his stuff looks flattened by a dance belt?

Where do all these giggling, school boy, closet cases come from and why are they hanging out on YouTube watching ballet where they know they are going to see guy ass? Let's set the record straight. Pun intended. It just so happens that not every man who dances is into men.

George Balanchine: Married four times, dumped his wife literally or emotionally every time a young prima ballerina crossed his path. Mikhail Baryshnikov: Nicknamed the "Horny Little Russian" by ballerinas at both New York City Ballet and The American Ballet Theater. Go read Gelsey Kirkland for more info on Baryshnikov's  bedside manner. Candace Bushnell of Sex in the City fame: Husband, retired NYCB principle dancer Charles Askegard. Peter Martins: Retired principle dancer (NYCB) now Ballet Master in Chief (NYCB), married to retired prima ballerina Darci Kistler. Lynn Swann: Pro Football Hall of Fame, Four Super Bowl Rings. Married twice, two kids. He's African American, Republican, pro gun and studied classical ballet, modern and tap dance. Me: Married twice, two kids. My brain locks up every time I see clips of Suzanne Farrell, Amber Richard, Karol Helms and many many other women dance.

Yes, I noticed Baryshnikov's butt. Peter Martins has legs a lot of skinny, slow hockey players would kill to get. You want abs? David Owen and Steven Retchless have some they can lend you and still look awesome. I have a message for guys into women. Dance studios are full of unattached, strong, intelligent, women. But they are looking for guys who don't giggle and act like they are in elementary school when they see guy butt.

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