Pole pas de deux

Pole pas de deux

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Male Pole Dancers With Female Significant Others

How many male pole dancers out there have a female significant other in their life? I probably don't have to tell you that it takes a special woman to let you go out and dance in a studio full of female pole dancers. I am married to one of those special women. After seventeen years of marriage I'm sure that my wife figured that she had seen it all. Then one Saturday afternoon I had a conversation with a pole dance instructor and scheduled a pole dancing lesson. Her only words were, "You really are going to do it aren't you?"

You don't have to think real hard about how the most secure woman in the world could become a little intimidated by the thought of her SO swinging around a dance pole in a studio full of women. There aren't many male pole dancers in my hometown. How many guys? One. Like it or not I am the odd one. Every dancer in the studio knows about Bob the pole dancer even if they haven't danced with me.

In a typical class at my studio we do a warm up to get our bodies ready for the pole maneuvers we are going to learn, a demonstration/practice period, and at the end of the lesson a time is set aside for freestyle dance. We pick dance music, find a pole and dance. We do what ever we want once the music starts. The only thing that Bob doesn't do is hip circles during warm up and I will not dance to Pink's "U + Ur Hand". *grin*

I go to the studio to learn how to dance. The women I dance with are wonderful. They are fun loving, supportive and respectful. I have never felt uncomfortable and no matter how expressive a dancer may be during freestyle, what happens during freestyle stays at the studio. What bonds the dancers together is the love of the dance.

Pole dancing is artistic, sensual and sometimes erotic. What are some of the things that the male pole dancer can do to keep his SO's imagination from running away at warp speed? If your studio has an open house and she is brave like my wife, bring her along. Meeting the real women you dance with will help put to rest the perception that she might have about all the perfect runway models that dance with you. Try to get her on the pole. I have failed miserably at all my attempts to get my wife on the pole but it is worth a try. Learn to send text messages or call if the class runs late or you get caught up in a good conversation after dance class. I had a near death experience one night and have learned the pick up the phone tip the hard way.

Finally, have some understanding and listen carefully to the things she is saying to you if she has an insecure moment. It is not easy being in a relationship with a male pole dancer.


  1. Bob, you're the man! I think it is absolutely fantastic that you are learning and enjoying pole dancing. What is equally wonderful is the support you have from your wonderful wife and from the other dancers. I myself am hoping to meet a man who would appreciate my interest in pole dancing as an artistic art form and excellent form of exercise. I am an educator, an artist, a mother and a grandmother who still loves to move to music of many genres and has great passion for life. One of my artistic projects is do draw and paint a series of compositions of the human body in motion. The strength, endurance and beautiful movement displayed by the human figure utilizing a pole provides artists like myself some of the most amazing subject matter and therefore composition and studies of the human figure in motion. With men like yourself recognizing the possibilities and potential of pole dancing, others like myself now have new subject matter for their art as well. Thank you, Bob! You ROCK!


  2. Thank you MsArtistMom! Sorry I'm so far behind on my blog. I plan on doing a lot more in the future including letting a professional photographer take some figure photos.