We Have Met the Enemy and He Are Us

The past few weeks have been interesting in the pole dance world. First we had Steven Retchless getting a standing ovation from Sharon Osbourne and then we had the Nicki Shaw incident.

Let's start at the beginning. The day after Steven appeared on national television a pole dancing friend of mine posted on my pole dance teacher's Facebook page. The essence of her message was that Steven didn't represent masculinity in pole dance. If you look around on the net for comments you will find that all most all the women appreciated his athleticism, grace, and most of them really think he has a great body. The only ubiquitous negative comment was that the shoes were over the top. My step-daughter thought he totally rocked and loved his shoes!

Now what do the guys think? Better yet how do I feel about Steven's dance. Hey, Martha Graham was right. "The body never lies." No punches pulled. His dance is feminine. His dance is a look into his soul. It's honest. His dance is art. His dance is erotic. His dance in platforms and glitter reinforces the middle class American stereotype, "Men who dance professionally are gay." His dance before mainstream America made my day at the office just a little bit harder.

The male pole dance world isn't that big yet but the sexuality issue has and is still being kicked around in the ballet world. We have Mikhail Baryshnikov, George Balanchine, Peter Martins and Jacques d'Amboise on one hand and the world of Vaslav Nijinsky, Sergei Diaghilev, and Jerome Robbins on the other. We have the famous Baryshnikov quote, " I am not the first straight dancer dancer or the last." So what does this have to do with the enemy and us? In my world how Steven dances is not the issue. The issue is the women who believe that men have no place in pole dance and the general public who think men pole dancing is all about gay strippers.

Now onto the Nicki Shaw incident. Nicki is a professional dancer in the "Adult Entertainment" business. With much controversy she withdrew from the American Pole Fitness Association 2011 Championship. The bottom line here again is the erotic vs athletic. Legitimacy. Rated G for General Audiences. I'm glad I wasn't faced with her decision. While we sit around and poke at those dancers who dance like strippers and those who dance like athletes, the majority of the people who have never put a hand on a dance pole have already made up their minds. The enemy is not us but we don't see it and we end up fighting with our fellow dancers trying to decide who is holier.

The body never lies. No matter how you dance, if your dance is honest you deserve the support of the pole dance community. The following quote from Suzanne Farrell says this better than I can,

"If a step or movement is played only for its sexual suggestiveness it immediately becomes something other than itself, and the result is a limitation. If on the other hand, the step or movement is given its full musical and physical value without the trappings of a specific intention, sexual or otherwise, its power can be limitless - it will suggest to some, it will comfort others, and while it may provoke one person, it may be a beautiful image to another. I have never believed in foreshortening any movement's options by imposing one's own experience on it. If there is eroticism in the music and the movement, it will speak for itself; if the dancer chooses to emphasize this aspect, it is the beginning of vulgarity." 

Finally I would like to thank Veena Poledancer for the way she worded a post on Facebook today. She said,

"People are not driven to learn POLE DANCE because they have seen MEN from a foreign country dance on a wooden "pole like" object....they are attracted to POLE DANCE because of the beautiful, artistic, and sometimes SENSUAL examples they have seen on TV and the internet!!!" 

Veena said, "People", she didn't say "Women". Thank you Veena! Those who commented and were intentionally or unintentionally sexist and divisive... pissed me off.

Random Thoughts

I did my dance warm-up today blindfolded. It's easier to hold your head straight up and look the audience in the eye when you can't see a thing. You know where every movement originates.

You can feed off of an audience's enthusiasm for your dance. You can also be paralyzed by the judgments that you think they are passing.

You can't hide a whole lot when you dance. If you are self-conscious or afraid of the stage it shows. If you are an egotistical ass it comes out. If you are dancing with your soul its obvious.

Simplicity is attractive.

Above all else be honest.

Pole burn sucks.

What Do Suzanne Farrell and Felix Cane Have in Common?

Last night I finished reading Suzanne Farrell's biography, Holding On to the Air. Her story is pretty powerful. You can learn a lot from looking at forms of dance outside pole dance. Suzanne's story is really a love story. Her love of dance, music, and her love for Balanchine. When I read the final part of her story about her last dance with the New York City Ballet after her hip replacement I was touched deeply. The feeling was very much like the feeling I had the day I watched Ray Bourque hold up the Stanley Cup with tears in his eyes.

This afternoon a friend of mine posted a YouTube link to Felix Cane's 2011 Pole Con performance. At the end of her performance she lost it. It was obvious that Felix was crying. I've always enjoyed watching Felix perform but that performance showed something very special about her. She left her soul on that pole.

There is something inside of some dancers that goes beyond technical excellence. It's a complete and honest connection between the heart, the music and the body.

The more I dance the more I learn. I have learned that all the great dancers and choreographers are always telling us the same thing in different ways. Maybe Balanchine said it best.

What are you waiting for? What are you saving for? Now is all there is. ~ George Balanchine

Male Pole Dancers and Dance Belts

A few days ago I was looking at keywords used in searches that lead people to my webpage. I was intrigued to find out that "dance belt" came up quite frequently. In fact someone searched using the string, "Do male pole dancers use dance belts?"

I'm male (last time I checked), I pole dance, and yes I wear a dance belt. Before we get to the reasons I need to explain a dance belt for the non-ballet people.

Male ballet dancers wear tights. Now there is no way to hide that pesky "bulge" in all its splendor when you wear tights. Nobody (especially the female friends of Congressmen) wants to see the "bulge" much less the amount of detail that is available to the eye if a man is wearing tights and no underwear. This leads us to the next issue. The dance community does want to see the male posterior and those muscular legs. So how does one show off the lower half of the male anatomy without showing Mr. Happy or visible underwear lines?

The answer lies in the dance belt. A dance belt is a glorified, super uncomfortable, thong for guys. Yes, long before Stephanie Seymour graced the Victoria's Secret catalog in thongs, male ballet dancers were cramming their "junk" into dance belts.

Now everyone who reads this blog knows that I pole danced first and then took up ballet. One of the first things you learn in pole (sometimes painfully) is that skin sticks you to the pole. The more skin contact you have on the pole, the easier it is to defy gravity. I learned early that if I wanted to learn the Superman move I couldn't wear shorts that hung down below my knees. The answer I found was the compromise between the much maligned Speedo bikini swimsuit and the next step up in coverage that comes with the "boy short" style of swimsuit used by competitive swimmers.

I blissfully danced for almost two years without much thought to how my "lines" looked when I was pole dancing. Then last December Amanda Campbell, a Denver area photographer came to the studio where I was dancing and photographed a charity event where I danced. While I was looking at the pictures of my dance I couldn't help but notice that my endowment was quite visible. It was especially noticeable when I was inverted.

The next time I pole danced, my dance belt went on before the boy shorts. No more bulge and I could still get the right amount of skin on the dance pole.

The downside of this story is that a dance belt  is the male ballet dancers penance. The women have pointe shoes and bloody toes. The guys are all being cut in half by the g-string that is stuck up you know where. I can't speak for Steven, Dominic or male strippers but this middle aged guy wears a dance belt. When in doubt, less is more.

Erotic Dance

There is a lot of controversy over the link between pole dancing and erotic dance. I touched on this in an earlier post where I made the contrast between aggressive and assertive. In economics there is a saying, "There are no free lunches." Guess what? The same goes for pole dancing in our culture.

If you make your dance overtly sexual you are going to have to be ready to pay the price. No one is going to erase the Judeo-Christian ethic from Western Civilization by the use of the words "female empowerment". In fact if you talk to the men who pole dance at the gay clubs you will find that they are just as victimized by the "slut" word as the women who pole dance.

Let's face it, there are two ways that we can move our bodies on the pole. Articulation is uni-sexual. If you doubt me go to a gay club and watch the men dance. When women and men dance our movements can be a super set of the natural movements that we make in our every day lives flowing to music. On the other hand our movements can emphasize our genitals and mimic the movements of intercourse.

Baryshnikov isn't sexy because he grinds his hips. He is sexy because he has a beautiful body and the way he moves accentuates the power and grace that makes men sexually attractive. The same is true for some of the great hockey players. If you ever get a chance to watch video of former Boston Bruins defensemen Ray Bourque skate you will also see the power of testosterone in full hockey pads. On the female side of the fence look at the way JK dances.

I'm not a prude. I'm a recovering Catholic *smile* who embraces his inner slut. I am a sexual being. I am also a realist. If I put Eric Clapton's "I Wanna Make Love To You" on and really rub and rock the pole I can guarantee that someone who sees me is going to call me a slut or worse. If I swing it a little over the top I am going for the shock value. I am testing limits. I might get burned or I might have a great time. It is my choice as a dancer to reveal as much or as little about myself as I want. I am a consenting adult. I have to take responsibility for my actions and be prepared for a response that I may not like.

I have had many compliments about my legs. Simple inverts, sits, layouts and getting long on the floor bring my legs out. No one sees my legs if I focus my movements on my hips. I've got decent traps and biceps. I have to dance with my shoulders back. Once again the choice is sexy or sexual.

There is a huge difference between sexy and sexual. Sometimes all it takes is for a woman to sit down in Starbucks and open up her laptop to stir something up inside of me. It could be the way she carries herself, the intensity in her eyes, or her mannerisms. She could be wearing baggy jeans and a sweatshirt and be sexier than all hell. The last time I spent time a in strip club was during a hockey coach's workshop in Grand Rapids, Michigan. I just felt exploited.

Erotic equals sexual stimulation for either the audience, the dancer or both. Some pole dancers and sections of our society are going to have a problem with it. Let's not kid ourselves. There are no free lunches.

Dance Music

I just checked my birth certificate and sure enough it says that I am in my early fifties. So it's no wonder that the music I choose to pole dance to is a little dated. I have been making up playlists for a year now and every time I add a song I figure that someone is going to laugh and when I watch the best of the best on YouTube I sure as hell don't expect to see my favorites being danced to by Althea Austin and Karol Helms.

My first WTF came about four months ago. I'm a total Seether fan and I had just added "The Gift" to a playlist and planned to bring it in to the studio for freestyle. Next day my friend posts an awesome interpretation of the song on her Facebook page. She wasn't happy with it and deleted it but I saw it and I loved her dance. There goes The Gift. Last year I danced to Mazzy Star's "Five String Serenade" at a Showcase and had "Fade Into You" on all my playlists. In early January I got a notice on YouTube that REDKE71 (Karol Helms) had posted a new clip. You guessed it.. Fade Into You. Gorgeous. I posted a link to her YouTube video on my Facebook page.

About a month ago I created a playlist for a private lesson. On that playlist I had the Cowboy Junkies cover of Lou Reed's "Sweet Jane". I've been doing that song for at least two months. About half an hour ago I was checking out Althea Austin's YouTube Channel. I clicked on one of her recent clips and guess what? Yup. Sweet Jane.

Just when you figure that you are so old that you are once again original you find yourself wondering, WTF? I did Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" at this years open house. When I get the clip posted on YouTube I will make sure that everyone knows that the best version belongs to Karol.

Keep Dancing (Published on the Pole Dance Shop Blog)

Pole dancing is for women. Men who dance outside of social situations are gay.

In the last month I have witnessed a few examples of this kind of thinking. There are many pole dance studios here in the United States that right up front exclude men. A man recently commented on a friend's Facebook page that pole dancing is a style of dance that is for women. He went on to say that it doesn't matter how well men can execute the moves. They will never look good on the pole. My dance teacher taught in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico recently and also found that men are not allowed in pole dance classes.

Male pole dancers face some interesting challenges. We find ourselves excluded by the same people who want to show the world that pole dancing is a sensual, athletic dance form that is not about stripping. I also find it interesting that when it becomes known that a man dances artistically, questions about his sexual preference are more often than not raised. In a search of Amazon.com I found books that examine the relationship between a man's sexuality and dance in a few keystrokes.

Prejudice. What is it that makes people uncomfortable when men dance outside of social situations? The best dancers put it all on the line when they dance. As Baryshnikov once said, "Dancers are stripped enough onstage. You don't have to know more about them than they've given you already." When a man dances he opens himself up and shows you his body, and his emotions. The feminist movement redefined the roles women can play in our society. What about men? Are we still dealing with a dominant/submissive power dynamic? Is showing the world our emotions and bodies submissive and effeminate? I think the key to understanding the prejudice aimed toward men who dance depends on the answers to these questions.

A man crosses a lot of boundaries when he steps up and grabs a dance pole. As a society we seem incapable of seeing men as emotional and sensual beings. Men are stereotyped as providers and defenders of the nest. We are football, basketball, soccer, baseball, ice hockey, testosterone, snails and puppy dog tails. If you are male and want to pole dance you have to be totally at peace with your sexuality and masculinity because you are going to see some raised eyebrows when some of your family and friends find out that you love swinging around a "stripper pole".

Men can pole dance. The way we express ourselves at the pole enhances the breadth and beauty of the dance. It also brings us in touch with a side of ourselves that we repress because we do not question the rigid roles men are expected to play in our society. As I see it the only way past the prejudice is to keep dancing.